Longplay... That's how we used to call our albums, our vynils, those that when we were teens we would listen to again and again, to exhaustion. Did I say exhaustion? Well it's wasn't really like that. I could listen to the same album a million times without ever growing tired. I'd play it in my room, my shelter, the place where everything happened.
It was my favourite spot in the house, the place where I could be entirely on my own, and dress up, play the bride with an old curtain, make up, dance, do my hair, look at myself in the mirror, take off my clothes, observe, investigate, find myself... Daydreaming. Bliss.
That was the best part. To dream that the actor on the wall was my boyfriend, and how he would never take his off me, how he would stare at me intensely. To dream about moments full of romance, of love. Yearning to be in love.
To dream about my future, my goals, to put all my hopes into those dreams.
To believe that even by praying my wishes would come true... There in my room. Listening to my Longplays.
I dreamt to be someone, to have my own life, to be a doctor, a painter, a vet. To have adventures. I dreamt of myself as a woman. I longed for my true love's kiss.
If there is something I can say for certain is that i felt truly happy in that room, and many of those playful wishes came true.
And I still have dreams, and i keep finding myself.